I experienced love as the absolute and highest calling of the individual, the finest and most enchanting feeling of all. Love stands at the first place in my system of priorities, thus, I have idealized and always pushed myself through the limit of this feeling.
After bouncing between different states of the being, I found out that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t change the fact that we are born alone, we grow up in a self-centred society and we ultimately die alone again. Popular culture tells us that we can’t love someone if we can’t love ourselves first, and I say that pop and granny culture should be mostly trashed, as the greatest gift of popular culture is building excuses not to evolve. Loving yourself first sounds like a another excuse to get more selfish and make this world worse…Loving yourself and surviving is already embedded in our DNA, so, if you are reading this, you are alive, and if you are alive you have been just enough selfish to survive.
Real loneliness is not about being alone, but being surrounded by many people and not being understood or having the feeling that no one cares. I’ve always dreamed of finding someone who could understand me and share the joys and the pain of this dark era.
Finding the right partner has become such a complicated puzzle to solve, that led us almost to the point of paralysis.
So I’ve made the following considerations:
The vast majority of couples are splitting up because they simply do not know each other enough, as they get together in order to follow a short lived biological urge, a trend or a society’s pressure. A scarce understanding of the partner too often results in failures.
A lot of us has already given up the idea of finding true love, moved on “down to earth” and purchased the package supported by current globalization’s trend which advocates to aim high when it comes to tangible grounds, but very low and with no dignity when it comes to take emotional paths which may lead off the default track… we end up settling for less.
Most people end up getting hurt and eventually abandon the idea of finding the right partner: it takes way too much courage and dedication to go through continuous negative dating experiences and turning them into opportunities to see through oneself.
To prove myself wrong in the absurd application of Fermi paradox reinvented into the Ideal woman paradox: the apparent contradiction between high estimates of the probability of the existence of an attractive female being capable of analytical and abstract thinking at the same time and over-comer of impulses/biological needing, and humanity’s lack of contact with, or evidence for such being. The main argument is: at some point she must have detached herself from the masses, acquired intellectual independence and gone in the direction of seeking a suitable male, perhaps with the most refined techniques available at today (internet) however the extension of her intellect may have reached such internal conflicts to led her to an inevitable suicide (or a virtual-suicide) by going back to the non-digital era.. Hence, the question: “If not online, where is the ideal woman?”. Ok you can laugh now.
My name is Alan, a European male born in 1980, 1.89mt tall with pleasant look and a slender/athletic figure. I have a degree in computer science, I can speak few languages, I’ve travelled extensively and I am an all rounder character with both scientific and humanities grounds with an inclination to an healthy lifestyle.
Although I am not very comfortable in being categorized under a specific behavior, I am a positive to the INFJ personality type (the rarest, usually accounted as being between 1–3% of the population) and I also fit very well into the HSP trait (may process sensory data much more deeply and thoroughly due to a biological difference in their nervous systems).
After facing sudden substantial lifestyle changes, cultural transformations and improvements over different fields, I found myself unsuitable among the masses, so I started to seek for different acknowledgements, higher achievements and abstracts meanings of places and people. I am slowly trying to find my way out of the rat-race and I would like to find a partner who I can share the rest of my existence with.
Given the rational thought that there are multiple potential matches for each one of us in the whole planet, I still embrace the idea of sharing the time of my existence with one person living a monogamous relationship.
Although oriented to seek for an inner beauty, I still can’t detach myself from the terrestrial law of physical attraction, which is, simply fatal. It just happens to be that outer beauty lies only in the eye of the beholder and no matter how much you can share on the inside, nothing can begin without an intense whirl of physical passion. Therefore, first things first, she should not be overweight and respectful towards her body, at least trying to eat healthy food and exercising sometimes.
Someone who is preferably around my age but not necessarily, I’d rule out more than a 10 years age gap.
I prefer classical outfits, or nineties trend with high waist pants and I don’t particularly like super thin high heels.
Although I’m fine with random, exceptional and very recreational use of coffee, smoke and drugs, she must be free from any addiction related to them.
As I’m looking for a partner without any limits of flags nor borders, I am not afraid of relocating on the other side of the globe at anytime, thus I expect the same.
My ideal place to live has a lot of sun light, blue sky and warm weather, furthermore, it may sound like an obvious dream but living close by the seaside, inhale the marine breeze, makes me feel lighter.
She must speak fluent English otherwise how could we watch movies together or travelling? If she’s a native English speaker then it would be fair to ask for a second language.
Someone who is still dreaming a lot and loves her freedom.
Someone who has something to teach me.
Personality and experience
Preferably a person who has never been married nor has kids from previous relationships, although as I grow older I start being understanding that meeting at a certain age in life, each of us is carrying a past.
I obviously couldn’t be together with superficial females who can just think about career, fashion, holidays, owning stuff and have shallow conversations.
I would be looking for a woman who is a free thinker, open minded, free from social constrictions or fake morals and of course a woman who does not believe in any god but in herself and her rational judgement based on empirical, scientific and philosophical knowledge.
Somebody who personally knows what cosmic pain/indifference is, and has experienced suffering enough to see the meaning of life in depth.
Somebody who is taking an active interest in understanding the mechanism behind things.
Somebody who can appreciate the work behind older types of art better than the current new-age modern minimalist bullshit.
For several different reasons (social, environmental and personal) and for the sake of current society’s wellness and the couple’s harmony and freedom, I strictly do not want to have kids. However, if financially stable, once having settled in a well grounded relationship and completed goals with my partner, could think of the possibility of an adoption.
This issue is extremely important: time is the most valuable asset in this world and It’s all about if someone can offer me her time. I’d love to spend most of the day together with my partner, experiencing different activities like arts, music, reading, doing sports, playing and spending romantic moments indoor and outdoor.
I wouldn’t be able to accept a relationship with a wage-slave of 9 to 5. In fact, I will never be able to stand a relationship where I can see my other half only during the nighttime after work. I strongly despise employees and the corporate mentality thus it would be an excellent idea to work together, start a business from scratch in any kind line.
I can understand the complexity of exceptions and grey shades, but I do not believe so much in friendship between the opposite sexes and I finds senseless these so called exclusive “only boys/girls” nights out.
I need physical closeness, attachment and expression of love with public displays of affection: showing in front of everyone that our feelings are sincere and that we have no fear of showing them.
I don’t mind someone who is a bit exclusive (jealous, possessive) as it may reflects somehow a deeper interest and attachment and makes me feel desired. I don’t mind as well a woman who relies a bit on her man, as it makes me feel needed.
Someone who is still dreaming a lot and loves her freedom. Someone who has something to teach me.
It would be splendid and a plus if she is well educated and comes from a family with fine cultural background and values. I would definitely go for someone who is still conserving some old-school values and has some traditional cores here and there, who puts love and feelings at the first place in life, who doesn’t want to play with people’s feelings; someone who is really serious in what she does and in what she believes.
Devotion is necessary because I still believe in the union of a family, so, I would fully commit to it till the end and expect the same aim.
Romantic, full of passion, of love for herself, for her man and for nature. Someone who definitely likes undertaking new adventures, open to new inner and outer challenges.
She should possess a very dynamic personality, knowing how to be extremely playful and “childish” when it’s time to have fun and being extremely focused and serious when the right time comes.
DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF:
- You are not able to provide a digital photo of yourself. All emails without an attachment will be trashed.
- You can’t run, swim, drive a car and ride a bicycle (unless you have disabilities).
- You wouldn’t love to venture on an uninhabited island together for a few months.
- You have no time for getting to know someone.
- You are a time waster looking for pen pals or any other purpose than going out on a real date.
- You are too happy with your current life (which implies that you should start asking yourself some serious questions)
(for the most stubborn) ONCE AGAIN, DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF:
- You believe in god
- You want to have kids
Why have you escalated the research to the point of making it SO public?
Statistically speaking, to increase my chances of finding a good match.
There are about 130 million users worldwide posting their profile publicly over online dating platforms.
Now, what is a dating profile if not a scaled personal website/blog? I’ve just created a more personalized an extended dating profile using my ICT skills.
I do not believe it has been so hard for you to meet ladies getting close to these requirements…
My description mostly refers to personality traits, but it’s well known that there are extremely small chances for two people to click into strong physical attraction and intellectual affinity.
Look at the numbers again, analyze: let’s say that you meet someone you like very much and hypothetically, he would totally match you; how many chances are there that he would feel the same? Apply this to my case, I might find dozens of positive results, however, they may not simply like me and vice-verse.